HAVE YOU SEEN THESE FUCKING BAKED BEANS?

YES. FUCK YES. GOD THAT'S INCREDIBLE. OH, HELLO, BILLY MAYS HERE IN THE FUCKING LUNCHROOM. DO YOU REQUIRE NOURISHMENT THAT IS JUST AS DELICIOUS AS IT IS COLON BLOWING? THEN CHECK OUT THESE FUCKING BUSH'S BEST BAKED BEANS. I LIKE TO ADD A LITTLE KABOOM FOR EXTRA ZEST, BUT YOU CAN'T GO WRONG WITH THESE FUCKERS. THERES FUCKING BROWN SUGAR AND SHIT IN THERE, ALL SORTS OF SECRET SPICES I'D TELL YOU BUT I CAN'T SELL FUCKING BEANS TO A CORPSE. ACTUALLY I'M BILLY FUCKING MAYS, OF COURSE I COULD, BUT STILL, FUCK YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO KNOW. DID I JUST TASTE A CHUNK OF CURED BACON? HOLY FUCK. THESE FUCKING BEANS ARE JUST AS REWARDING GOING IN AS THEY ARE COMING OUT, EVERY MAN IS PROUD OF A VIOLENT VISIT TO THE BATHROOM. YOU'LL BE LIKE YOSEMITE SAM WHEN HE'S PISSED AND FLOATS LIKE TWO FEET OFF THE FUCKING GROUND WITH SMOKE COMING OUT HIS EARS. YOU'LL PROBABLY CRACK THE BOWL, BUT THAT'S OK, I HAVE A SPACE AGE TOLIET COMING SOON YOU'RE BUYING ANYWAY IF YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU. BUSH'S BEST BAKED BEANS WILL GIVE YOU A FIRMER ERECTION, CAN INSTANTLY SYNCHRONIZE ANY TWO WATCHES, AND I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY YOU CAN DICTATE WHAT TIME THE SUN SETS BY PULLING ON THIS FUCKING SWEET ASS TAB ON THE TOP OF THE CAN. BUY A CASE TODAY, SODIUM NEVER TASTED SO GOOD.