HAVE YOU SEEN THIS FUCKING BEER?

WHAAAAAATS UP? BREWMASTER BILLY HERE. DO YOU REQUIRE REFRESHMENT FROM A HALF ASSED IPA OUT OF BOSTON? THEN CHECK OUT THIS FUCKING GREEN MONSTA BEER. THAT'S RIGHT, MONSTA, THATS HOW WE DO IT IN BEANTOWN. WHATS AN IPA? FUCK YOU KID, YOU DON'T DRINK ENOUGH. THIS STUFF COMES OUT OF THE TAP STRAIGHT TO YOU WITH A NICE FUCKING GOLDEN HUE, I LIKE TO HAVE FOUR OR FIVE PINTS BEFORE MY HELICOPTER LESSONS. NIGGA PLEASE, I'M NOT TAKING THEM, I'M TEACHING THEM. BACK ON TOPIC, STOP DISTRACTING ME YOU SHIT. GREEN MONSTA ALE WILL ONLY BE AROUND FOR A LIMITED TIME, EXPERTLY RELEASED BY OUR MARKETING TEAM IN THE FINAL MONTH OF THE FUCKING BASEBALL REGULAR SEASON DESPITE ITS NAMESAKE BEING INSPIRED BY FENWAY PARK. SO, ALL THOSE SHIT KICKING HILLBILLIES AT FENWAY WON'T BE BUYING THIS SIMPLY FOR THE NAME BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUCKING THERE! THATS HOW EXTREME FUCKING ADVERTISING WORKS, WE CAN'T BE FOUND WHERE ONE WOULD LOGICALLY FUCKING EXPECT US TO BE. BUY A CASE OF FUCKING GREEN MONSTA ALE TODAY, THE FIRST FIFTEEN CALLERS WILL BE INVITED TO A SPECIAL CONTEST AT MY MANSION MADE OUT OF DECAPITATED UNICORNS TO SEE WHO CAN SHIT BLOOD WITH MORE AUTHORITY AFTER GUZZLING TEN OF THESE FUCKERS. BY THE WAY, EVERY CASE OF GREEN MONSTA ALE COMES WITH A USED CONDOM SIGNED BY ME, AND GREEN MONSTA ALE CAN FIX THAT HOLE IN YOUR SHED THE FUCKING RACCOON KEEPS GOING IN. CALL NOW!