HAVE YOU SEEN THIS FUCKING PLUSH DOLL?

HEY THERE DICKHEADS, BILLY MAYS HERE. SO I HERD U LIEK MUDKIP? I KNOW, RIGHT NOW SOME OF YOU ARE SAYING OH JESUS CHRIST BILLY, MUDKIP? IT'S ALMOST AS IF YOU'RE A SHITTY SATIRICAL BLOG THAT IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I SELL LIFE INSURANCE, SO FUCK YOU. SECONDLY, I JUST KNOW AN AWESOME FUCKING POKEMON WHEN I SEE ONE. CHECK OUT THIS FUCKING MUDKIP DOLL. RUMOR IS IF YOU FIND SOME DORK AT A FUCKING HIGHSCHOOL AND GIVE IT TO HIM HE FUCKS IT AND THE END RESULT IS A FIRE IN THE FUCKING LIBRARY. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, GIVE ME ANOTHER FUCKING PLUSH DOLL THAT CAN DO THAT. YOU CAN'T, MUDKIP IS FUCKING AWESOME. THIS DOLL IS SQUEEZABLY SOFT AND GENTLE TO THE FUCKING TOUCH, BUT I ASSURE YOU THE MAIN MATERIAL USED IN CREATING THIS PRODUCT IS RAGE. ASK SOMEBODY IF THEY LIEK MUDKIP, AND IF THEY SAY NO, THIS THING IS PRETTY FUCKING EASY TO CHOKE ON SO KICK IT DOWN THEIR FUCKING THROAT. BUY TWO TODAY AND I'LL SHIP THESE TO YOU FOR FREE, BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, MUDKIP CAN FUCKING FLY. WAIT, WHAT? HOLY SHIT!